Coping with Victory

Hold together, Phillies brethren! The Phillies are in first place in the wild card race, and they are hastily chasing down the Braves as well. Here are some tips for coping with this sudden and unexpected rush of semi-success:

• If booing is your favorite activity at Phillies games, try something new. Slap your hands together repeatedly to make a “clapping” sound, and exclaim something vocally such as “yay!”, “woo!” or “woo-hoo!” when the Phillies take the lead. For those unfamiliar, a Phillies lead is something that occurs when they are outscoring their opponent, as in "the Phillies are beating the Pirates 4-3."

• Instead of scowling, attempt to smile with someone mentions the Phillies.
If it helps, associate the word "Phillies" with something pleasurable.

• After years of dealing with loss, the possibility of a playoff berth may be a shock to your system. If you find yourself unable to handle this new sensation, consider moving to Tampa Bay.

• Here’s a word I came across when researching fans of other baseball franchises:

op•ti•mism (noun)

1. A tendency to expect the best possible outcome or dwell on the most hopeful aspects of a situation: “There is a touch of optimism in every worry about one's own moral cleanliness” (Victoria Ocampo).

2. Philosophy.

a. The doctrine, asserted by Leibnitz, that this world is the best of all possible worlds.

b. The belief that the universe is improving and that good will ultimately triumph over evil.

This concept could conceivably apply to the Phillies. Try using it in a sentence: "I am optimistic the Phillies will win today." If you can say it ten times without bursting into laughter or vomiting, you're on your way to becoming an optimistic Phillies fan.

• Lastly, do not fear that this trend will reverse Phillies fandom as we know it. This is a team with more franchise losses than any other team in the history of baseball, and we’re not about to give up our only claim to fame. Yes, we will suck again. Attempt to enjoy this break from failure.