Crowd Control

The Phillies are 17-3 when fewer than 30,000 people stumbled in to Citizen’s Bank Park this season, and 3-8 in games that sold out.

In the interest of making the Wild Card, the Phillies should find ways to keep attendance levels low as the season comes to a close. Some ideas:

- The Phillies are all about celebrating their heritage: How about a Vet Stadium rat giveaway night?

- For dollar dog night … you know where this is going.

- Instead of t-shirts and hot dogs, Phanatic shoots bags of garbage into the crowd.

- Between innings, Phanavision shows only a close-up of discarded grease and fat from Bull’s BBQ.

- Free tickets for bears.