PHILADELPHIA, PA - Riding high on a scorching two-game winning streak, the Phillies today signed Kristopher Kringle to a one-year, $6 million contract.
“We feel that Kringle gives us a big bat off the bench,” said general manager Ed Wade. “He will also help us as we go from town to town, spreading joy and laughter.”
Although he dominated in the North Pole League, critics argue that Kringle may have difficulty with major league pitching. “He’s been playing for decades against teams made up of elves who can barely throw the ball 15-20 mph,” said one scout. "I don't care if he can deliver presents to the entire world in one night - he's not going to catch up to somebody firing 95."
Another scout hinted that Kringle may not be in top physical condition when he reports to the team. “I watched him running from home to first - his belly shook like a freakin’ bowl full of jelly,” he said.
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3 comments:
I think you need to check with the Easter Bunny also, if you want some quickness and speed down the line; as well as that good PR value!
We do not need another Charlie Manuel on this team.
www.2jump2.com/x.php?a3 I Know what I Like, and I like it, Have a Laugh on me
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