Sprained Training

ouch.

Baseball is not a contact sport, people. It's hard to imagine any series of events that would cause eight professional athletes to injure themselves in two weeks playing this sport, but the Phillies found a way to do just that.

Phreakin' Phils did some research to figure out why this is happening.

Here are the Top Eight Reasons why Eight Phillies are Injured:

8. Players sprain mouth muscles when expressing contentment for the first time in three seasons.

7. Aging relief pitchers injure themselves when their dentures fall on their toes.

6. Players busting guts laughing at the demise of Barry Bonds.

5. When drunk, the Phanatic shoots hot dogs at the Phillies from close range.

4. David Bell's sprained back is contagious.

3. They lost on St. Patty's Day, and the leprechauns are pissed.

2. Players insist on carrying Charlie Manuel off the field after each win.

1. They're Phillies. It's what they do.