Phillies catchers are ruining spring training. Mike "I did Toyota commercials so I'd never have to perform again" Lieberthal's letting runners roam the bases with abandon, Todd "human triple play" Pratt is hurt and slower than ever, and A.J. "I'm here because they needed someone with a big ass to warm the bench" Hinch is a picture of squatting mediocrity. The trade for Millwood doesn't look quite as brilliant as it once did,as Braves all-star Johnny Estrada is once again dominating the grapefruit league.
My solution: A wooden board. Like the one we all pitched to as children. Pitchers will have a nice, big, definitive target outlined in tape in the center, and the ball will be returned to them promptly if they throw it hard enough. If the board is big enough, passed balls will be a non-issue.
The wooden board may have difficulty hitting, but it will be patient enough to work an occasional walk and will never hit into a double play. I'd much rather watch a wooden board take a few pitches than suffer through another season witnessing Lieberthal hit towering pop-ups to the first baseman with runners on second and third.
The board is also durable. It will be made of maple, or pine. It will be a cost savings at the major league minimum (unless it lands Scott Boras as its agent). Some may argue that Mike Lieberthal has the personality of a board, so there's no drop off there.
In other news, the Phillies won one game this week. They're already in midseason form!
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2 comments:
Hey Wade; I used to be a catcher, so don't assume you know what it takes to replace one. I know that my replacement was a 4x8 sheet of marine grade plywood. This gives more spring into the return to the pitcher or the bounce-through to second base. Also can be used for a single up the middle on offense. The plate ump said it argued less, too!
funny pratt picture
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