PHILADELPHIA--Fans of the Philadelphia Phillies are in danger of straining their vocal chords early this season, according to one expert. "After an offseason of Eagles success, Philadelphia sports fans may not be prepared to boo at full strength come opening day," said David Van Dissle, PhD.
With Jason Michaels starting in center, a journeyman opening day pitcher and a potential upset from the ex-Expos looming, opening day is rife with booing opportunities. "My advice would be to hold it in for the first few innings, no matter what happens," said Dr. Van Dissle. "Focus your attention on the amenities at the ballpark, like those awesome onion grinders."
According to Dr. Van Dissle, the action of booing strains vocal apparatus that is not used for any other sound. "The closest action to booing is oohing and ahhing, but that usually doesn't occur until around the Fourth of July," he said.
For fans angry about the offseason ineptness of Ed Wade and hungry to boo, Dr. Van Dissle suggested warming up with vocal exercises. "Repeat this sentence at least ten times a day before going to the ballpark: The Boo Radleys boom out of my boom-box, boo-yaaaa!"
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I'm prepared for booing. I watched the game on comcast last night, we blew a 4-1 lead to the devil rays. Phew!
Another great example of Phreakin' Phils upstaging BIG MEDIA to bring us the real Phillies news.
Happily, baseball is the only sport I follow, so my vocal chords are not strained from football season.
I will be at opening day, booing the loss of Doug Glanville.
Dr. Van Dissle? Can we trust him?
What could be more soothing than a crowd saying "BOO"? It rhymes with "MOO", the contented sound of a Phat,Phully Phed large animal. Hmmm. Have another SCHMITTER and MOO... I mean BOO to your heart's content!
now THIS is a good idea.
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