The Phils and Sox match up on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and the city is on high alert. If you thought Live 8 was going to be a pain in the ass, it’s nothing compared to what’s coming when Sox fans arrive this weekend.
The city issued a partial list of precautions and warnings for the series:
• Interstate 95 will be closed to ensure the smooth transport of chowdah and Sam Adams lager to the region.
• The Phanatic will temporarily be renamed “that othah green monstah.”
• All schools, government buildings, and available office space will be converted into Irish Pubs.
• A team of highly-trained animal handlers will be on call for late-night David Wells sightings.
• Persons not wearing an appropriate amount of Sox gear are encouraged to stay indoors for the weekend. Appropriate garb includes, at minimum, a Bosox visor, blue training pants with a red stripe, and a bright red shirt that reads "Yankees suck."
• Pedestrians who spot Manny Ramirez wandering the city are encouraged to point him in the direction of the stadium.
• Any reference to the 86 years preceding 2004 is strictly forbidden.
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3 comments:
Hey Wade; thanks for the warnings, though the city could use a bit more chowdah and some more "Luck 'O The Irish". Is Schilling stopping by to criticize everything Philly as part of his rehab?
The Red Sox fans will spare people in Phillies jerseys, but not Yankees jerseys.
www.2jump2.com/x.php?a3 I Know what I Like, and I like it, Have a Laugh on me
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