PHREAKING NEWS - The Philadelphia Phillies, the losingest club in the history of Major League Baseball, have budgeted to build a bandwagon for the first time since 1993.
"We are proud to announce that fans are slowly making the transition from deep hatred of our franchise to guarded optimism, and we want to be prepared in the unlikely event they start liking us again," said Larry Shenk, Phillies director of publicity.
The bandwagon will operate much like a similar model in 1993, when fans woke after a 10-year slumber and went to Veterans Stadium in droves.
"It will be fully equipped with tubas, Pabst and cheesesteaks," said Shenk. "We couldn't think of anything else a Phillies fan riding in a bandwagon might want."
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15 comments:
I hope the bandwagon specs call for it to be a "lowrider" so that phans won't be injured too badly when they "fall off the bandwagon".
Has an engineer reviewed these plans to ensure that the bandwagon can support the weight of the Phans? 2005 Phans are heavier than 1993 Phans. Also, I suspect that the Phanatic has put on a few pounds.
The plans have been reviewed by a team of engineers. This vehicle will also be capable of water travel and may be used to hunt duck boats.
"2005 Phans are heavier than 1993 Phans." Yes, but 2005 Phils are lighter than 1993 Phils.
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