The win streak of the Phillies is the talk of Philadelphia these days. I caught up with it last night for a chat, just before the game.
Phreakin’ Phils: Hey, why do they call you The Streak?
The Streak: I am the fastest thing on two feet.
PP: Not Jimmy Rollins? I heard they signed him to a big $40 million deal.
TS: Nope. I’m a couple hundredths of a second faster. No wind resistance from clothing.
PP: Odd. It’s a little disconcerting, you being nude.
TS: The Streak will not exist with clothes on.
PP: It’s ok. You’re over anyway. Old news! The Phillies lost to Seattle last night.
TS: What? That’s it? I guess it’s time to move back down to Atlanta.
PP: Yeah. So before you go, lets talk about the glory days.
TS: Like, last week? What do you want to know?
PP: What brought you into town? This team is not good enough to go on the sort of run you provided.
TS: Multiple factors. Thome woke from his slumber for a bit. We also had lots of luck. Burrell’s hitting the ball well - he’s well rested. He briefly limited his sexual escapades to every other inning.
PP: And now?
TS: He’s back to running into the clubhouse between pitches.
PP: Not good!
TS: Nope.
PP: Well, it was good having you around for a bit. Will you be coming back this year?
TS: To Philly? Not a chance. You’ve had your fun. You should have really saved a few wins for September.
PP: There’s always next year.
TS: Nah.
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Philly... Sort of A win on opening day! Not just a win, but a biggish win. Who are we, the freakin' Yankees? Whatever happene...
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The win streak of the Phillies is the talk of Philadelphia these days. I caught up with it last night for a chat, just before the g...
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PHILADELPHIA, PA – Although he was 1-0 with a 1.77 ERA in his first four starts this season, Eude Brito’s 2.1 inning, three earned-run outi...
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Please remove this offensive picture or we will be forced to take legal action...up to and including fines, de-linking, and possible jail time.
Right on, FCC. If people can go around posting offensive pictures on the Internet, then the terrorists have already won.
This picture is not offensive! In the Galapagos we walk around this way all the time. No one complains. You should all bask in the glory of my unclothed green fur!
Interestingly, one of my brethren from the islands did shave off all of his fur, and he got a snout job. He was not like the rest of us - he went on to do many shady things.
What few people realize, though, it that as a species we adapted to grow green fur to hide severe amounts of cellulite.
Sorry, Phanatic, but this is the USA, not the Galapagos Islands, a place lacking morality and social structure.
Yo FCC -
F-CC U! (snout, snout, belly bump)
-Phanatic
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