In times of great turmoil, some choose to search for answers from above. Phreakin' Phils didn't know what to do with itself when the Streakin' Phillies went an entire week without losing a game, so we placed an extreme long-distance call to the man who some say actually created the game, and other less important things. Yep, we called Jesus Christ.
Phreakin' Phils: Yo, Jesus. Thanks for taking my call.
Jesus Christ: No problem, Wade. I've been watching you.
PP: Me? Why?
JC: There have been rumors of another flood, and I'd need to take two Phillies fans. There aren't many down there to choose from, it seems.
PP: Until last week, you mean. Six in a row? I know you move in mysterious ways, but this is absurd. Pure madness!
JC: Yeah, I had to change some of the laws of physics to allow for David Bell's dinger, but other than that it has been all Phillies.
PP: Wow. Have you seen anything like this in your thousands of years?
JC: Not really. This is the most unexpected resurrection since yours truly.
PP: Whoa. This is big news!
JC: Yup.
PP: While I've got you on the line -– what is the meaning of life?
JC: Whoops, gotta go. Benedict is on line two, he's having some trouble getting his e-mail set up. I'll see you in a few.
PP: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
JC: Uh, nevermind. You've got plenty of time, just lay off the phreakin' hot dogs for, well, my sake.
PP: Will do, Jesus.
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5 comments:
Wade; Glad you got some quality time with JC; surely a Phils Phan who can relate from personal experience! How truly religious a situation the Phreakins are in with the National League East..... they can now go from Hell to Heaven or the reverse on a daily basis! It's a parable, like the loaves and Phishes!
Loaves and phishes! I just spit up my tea laughing.
Wade, did JC say who's in the running for the other Phillies phan on the ark?
He didn't say, but if you're interested in applying you must go to church and confess the sin that you are indeed a Phillies phan.
Whether or not I'm interested in applying depends on which two Phillies/ex-Phillies will be on the ark (I assume that the ark will contain two Phillies; otherwise, the Phans would be useless).
www.2jump2.com/x.php?a3 I Know what I Like, and I like it, Have a Laugh on me
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