Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Phanatic Wants New Deal

The Phillie Phanatic wants to rework his contract with the Phillies. Drew Rosenhaus, the Phanatic’s new agent, says the importance of his client to the team cannot be underestimated. “People are not coming to see Rollins hit .230 or Thome sit on his ass – they are coming to see the Phanatic,” said Rosenhaus. “He needs more money to be able to support his family on the Galapagos Islands.”

Jimmy Rollins said the Phanatic signed the contract, and he should be prepared to work under the previously agreed-upon terms. “Tell that big green bird to get to work, and to keep my name out of his snout,” he said.

If the issue is not resolved, the Phillies are prepared to forge ahead without the Phanatic. “He’s an important part of this team, but we can lose just as many games without him as we do with him,” said manager Charlie Manuel.

When asked for comment the Phanatic angrily bumped his belly, unraveled his tongue, and stormed out.

5 comments:

Josh said...

HAH! Great stuff.

Anonymous said...

Give the Phanatic a raise. He has single-mittedly spawned the use of PH in everything previously F'd....Plus, have you seen the price of shag carpet clothing lately?

Anonymous said...

C'mon...Give the bird, dog, or what ever it is a raise. He's the only one giving a 110% at every game. Plus everybody knows the price of gas to keep his 4 wheeler juiced

Anonymous said...

why does rollins think the phanatic is a bIrd? WHAT DOES HE KNOW??????
gr

Anonymous said...

www.2jump2.com/x.php?a3 I Know what I Like, and I like it, Have a Laugh on me

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